Europe's living a celebration

Yes it really is. And in the interests of doing the second semi-final justice, I'm going to write about it soon.

Yes, very soon. But not today, as I`m tired, in Berlin and the final of Germany`s next top model is on tonight (true, but am actually not that interested in it).

In summary (because that`s what I know you all want) Eurovision was fabulous. It was amazing. It was a bastian of kitsch, nationalism, hope and european integration.

I think I`m still processing everything that happened.

Anyway, I think it`s best to chart the night through photos:

Leaving Rome on the way to Belgrade (site of the bad plane karma) I strayed upon this high-quality airline.

I`ll certainly chose them the next time I need to visit the former soviet Union.

After arriving in Belgrade I took a taxi to the city, whereupon I strayed upon the Embassy (5.5/10 for including remnants of socialism) and my friend Kate.

She showed me the posters for Eurovision (or Eurosong, as it`s called in the Former Yugoslav Republics):

Paint was a big theme of the contest, used in the posters, costumes and in the little 30second bits between countries to show the next one that was coming.

Probably `cos it`s cheap.

Despite this, none of it was used to spruce up the city.

The Beograd Arena, on the other had didn´t need paint.

It is made of concrete.

Here is the stage, which, as I have already written, look quite similar to the Finnish one last year. Perhaps it was part of the 2007/2008 Finnish Aid Budget.

We had a pretty good view, except when the sknaky hostesses (trust me, you`ll want to see THOSE pictures. Especially you Nina, with your bad fashion requests. You shall not be disappointed) stood in our way, waiting to be chatted up by Serb men.

I`d like to say that these women were grumpy because of all the chatting up going on in front of them, but frankly I just think it`s because they expected a socialist singalong.

And maybe some Tito.

Ok so there aren`t any photos of the actual acts, there are some good ones, but they just aren´t clear enough (wow! Worked out where the apostrophe is on the keyboard) so we´ll jump ahead here.

After Russia had been `crowned´ winners (Henny, I´ll leave you to comment on the status of that) there was an explosion of tickertape (and interactive display: at last!) throughout the Arena.

We felt like were in the middle of an American Political convention (though I´m sure no one in that country would be celebrating a Russian victory unless it were for being top of an E! news-esque `From Hero to Zero: How capitalism robbed these countries of their superpower status´), everyone so happy and jolly over the outcome. Would have been very different if say, Albania had won. They received a VERY chilly reception in the hall, as did the Albanian vote-reader when announcing the votes.

When the night officially ended, we begun our new quest along the Holy Grail continuum: the trek to the after party. Located at the Save Centar (basically a flattened version of our dear old Palast der Republik painted blue), it was the place to be. Apparently. So much so that it took nearly an hour and a half for the stars to appear, I´m sure not all of them were at the press conference for that long. Perhaps they were, actually really knows?

First to arrive was the German ban No Angels. Pretty much the German Bardot, these guys won the inaugural German Popstars, and had massive success with their 2001 hit `Daylight In Your Eyes´. Then, as per manufactured pop-schmalz group, 5 became 4. And A-List became C. They split up and people forgot about them. The Blonde one repeated history and spent her years judging future failures on the German popstars, there were Playboy shoots, babies and the Bulgarian one (Lucy), came out, jumped off a big diving board and now judges Bulgarian Idol (not surprising that they gave Germany 12 points then).

No they´re back and hardly anyone at Eurovision cared. If you really wanted to win guys, you would have got a Russian or former Yugoslav team member: they bring MULTIPLE country votes with them.

Here they are, talking to the German media about how surprised they are that they did so badly.

It´s not so much as they did so badly as their current geo-political diasporic position.

I could go into further depth here, but I might save it for an ARC grant application.

Another person who had good reason to be disappointed ( and shows how good a sport he is that he turned up to the after party) was the British entrant Andy Abraham.

He´s so disappointed that he refused to show his face, instead having the strange smiling-guy shadow him.

It wasn´t a bad song. Sounded a bit M People (thanks Kate), and was definitely better than many of the songs that did better than it.

Another example of the diasphoric voting.

One of our goals had been to meet some acts, and after these two near misses (and another one with Dima) we sucked up our nerves, got out the chutzpah and went on the prowl.
We met the Wolves of the Sea, the Latvian entrants. As you can tell, the chick in the ballroom dancing dress is fresh from fighting a losing battle with the solarium. My pale skin weeps for her (but not for her dermatologist, who may retire on her treatment costs), but they were quite nice.

We also met the songwriters who told us to support the song all the way to Australia (which will take a long time if they travel by sea), I´ll handball that task over to the Cultural secretary.

I really how much these people understood us when we were talking, there were a lot of quizzical looks, even when we got out the Australian flag.

Strange.

The man below definitely fits into that group. Maybe all these people learnt Russian at school instead of English or maybe they are just random.

It is fair to say that we swamped Laka (he of the Timb Burton-esque Bosnian entry) when all he wanted to do was smoke his fag in peace. However, he was not receptive of our Australian flag (perhaps he should have been: a Danish man working in Balkan post reconstruction told me that Australia is one of the top-4 destinations for Bosnian post-Laka should listen to OUR diaspora) and we thought he didn´t understand us.

He also may have been the only straight man there.

Then we looked on wikipedia and he lived in New York for two years, so maybe he just didn´t like us?

sob.

I even bought his album.

We also meet hte Lithuanian entry, who was REALLY nice and stuck around and partied with the fans, like all good Eurovision singers should.

I´m going to leave you a picture of a stuffed Zucchini from the`famous´ Writer´s Club in Belgrade. Kate didn`t think this place existed, and after eating this gemütlich image, I bet she wishes it didn´t.
Tally Ho.

What's another year?

So the first semi-final was on Tuesday, and Kate and I sat down in front of RTS we were, I'll have to admit, a bit underwhelmed by the whole thing (Yes I know, it rather goes against the grain, but...).


I've just read that Julia Zemiro will be the commentator in Oz and i'm not sure what to think. She was born in France so has the potential to know more than Des Mangan, who was... well he only lasted one year. SBS should stick to the Wogan commentary as long as he's willing to do it (which might not be much longer if the UK don't do well).


As usual, the Eastern European songs dominated, though there were some doozies which weren't part of Kate's top 10. Our favourites were Ireland, B & H (Bosnia and Herzegovina idiots, it's a country not a brand of cigarettes), Andorra and partially Azerbaijan.


Herewith some songs:


Montenegro: Dean Geyer look-alike with foppish hair singing a very unimpressive (and probably Balkan-friendly) song. It was hard to concentrate because of all the leather on the stage. Surprisingly, didn't qualify.


Israel: Co-written by Dana International (who, according to Wikipedia has just given birth to a baby with the help of 'groundbreaking fertility treatment' (this I find hard to believe, but please, prove me wrong)) loud, dance number sung byu a very happy Israeli singer. Qualified


Estonia: You can tell that they don't want to host it again. Three middle-aged comedians wearing pastel suits dancing incoherently did not bode well for a good result. Nor did it happen.


Moldova: To be honest, I think they should have spent the money on Eurovision tackling the trafficking problem within their country. At least the entry this year wore clothes, unlike last year's Britney Spears meets Vanessa Mae entry. Didn't qualify.


San Marino: Does anyone care about an Italian-language pop/rock band singing for a country that, whilst debuting this year was never really going to make an impression? Try again next year.


Belgium: Kate and I really liked this song: in a bid to country the whole Flemish/Wallonia rift that results in each region sending a singer every other year, this group made up their language. It was a cutesy song, a bit Alice in Wonderland. Pity no one was ever going to vote for Belgium. Didn't qualify.


Azerbaijan: A bit strange, a sort of fire and ice dance troup singing indiscernable (despite claiming to be in english). Kate loved the kitsch factor, I thought that was being a bit nice. Qualified, perhaps on the back of the CIS vote/debut factor.


Slovenia: Note to Rebeka: multiple costume changes are, like, SO 2007! I don't think we need to say much more about that.


NOrway: Surprise packet of the night, the Norwegians must be investing lots of money in Eastern Europe, because we didn't think that the song was... sung live. Unless there was a delay (highly likely apparantly) in the sound, she was lip-synching. It was ok, passable, but not as good as other songs that missed out. Qualified.


Poland: Need you ask if this song qualified? Despite the fact that 1) the woman couldn't sing english, let alone speak it, 2) she was out of tune and 3) looked like a cheap knock-off of Donatella Versace, the Polish diaspora kept her in with a chance. We will unfortunately be seeing her on Saturday night.


Ireland: Now this song, by Dustin the Turkey was a huge pisstake (up there with Stefan Raab's 2000 Wadda Hadde Dudde da), but it didn't pay off. As in 2006, when classic barrel of laughs Silvia Night was booed by anappreciate Greek crowd (who didn't get the joke), Dustin's attempts to verarsch himself, his country and the contest were not taken with the requisite shaker of murray river sea salt. Despite this, Kate was underwhelmed, I was a bit perplexed and neither of us could understand the Irish accent very well. Didn't qualify. Note to Ireland: next time send a 'uman.


Andorra: our favourite song of the night was never going to do well: liek San Marino, who gives a shit about this tiny fleck of Jamon sandwiched between France and Spain? Gisela's had EUrovision experience, singing in the memorable (to some of you) 2002 Spanish entry 'Europe's living a celebration'-perhaps as the blonde who couldn't dance.


The song was good, she could dance last night, the costumes a bit random but not too odd and it was a good Eurosong. A victim of the oft-ridiculousness of the popular vote.


In an interesting aside, many Eurovision fans (mainly from Western Europe) are now increasingly vitriolic at the public vote concept. I say suck it up and deal with it: let the East succeed in what the West really, to be honest, doesn't really give a shit about anymore. That's why the UK sends randoms instead of Take That, the Sugarbabes or any of their successful girl/boy bands. It's why Spain consistantly sends entries who won't sing in english, look nice or even be good.


Anyway.


Bosnia and Herzegovina: Best quote of the night (not that i could understand the Serbian commentary, though Kate offered snippets such as "Greece, a true friend of our country") was the call: "It's Tim Burton does Eurovision." And seriously, it was. Old women knitting in hoop dresses were a bit corpse bride, then Bosnian Helena Bonham-Carter (BHBC) came out singing pretty in a little frock/tutu thing. THEN Johnny Depp came out in a green velevet suit. It was cutesy, and just a wee Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Thankfully they got through: no one wanted to see another Bosnian defeat on Serbian soil.


Armenia: Andrei, please don't be mad at me, but, it really wasn't very good. I think you'd do much better if you didn't sing slow, emotional songs about things which only people in Armenia know about. Like the disputed region of Nagorno-Karabakh, how long your surnames are and how beautiful yerevan is. All things are legitimate comments, ideas and facts, but nto for Eurovision. It should be about dancing, and showing off all the tassels in your three-tone Zaraesque dress. Still, you're CIS and that's why everyone loves you. See you on Saturday.


The Netherlands: Having spent the weekend with a Dutchman (this sounds like the beginning of a bad joke), I had a little fondness for Hind's song. What little remained 48 hours later dissolved in a puff of [something] when she blended in with the stage. WHy would the organisers do something like that (it happened a few times)? Conspiracy? Stranger things have been said about the Eurovision. This brings us to:

Finland: They love heavy metal in Finland, so it would seem logical that they send a heavy metal band to the contest. Alas, I would put it down to the old adage of "We can't be fucked hosting it AGAIN, so let's send something that definitely won't win". Finnish rockers with waist-length hair, tight leather pants and no shirts wouldn't necessarily endear themselves to 'the' Eurovision, but hey, I'm not european so what do I know? They didn't anticipate it either, 'cos they were pretty surprised that the voting preferences of half of Europe branched from Balkan schlager to include bad Finnish rock.

Romania: As ususal, they include some opera person, a duet, all laden with black velvet and some heavy-but-not-actually-that-heavy breathing. It wasn't very interesting. Maybe they will be better live on Saturday. They qualified

Russia: Dima Bilan (nee Bladin, he lost his name in a contractural dispute with his record company) came second in 2006 with a song most notable for the ballet dancer emerging from the grand piano (white) at the end. After this acheivement, his dress sense went the same way as Russian democracy, and he was photographed with his jeans (tight) stuffed into his boots. I'm all for brining the horse course to the party, but Dima just looked confused. Eurovision can bring on existential crises I'm sure.

Anyway, top the dancer-emerging-from-the-piano-thing he did. With both a violinist AND and medal-winning Olympic figure skater on stage with him (and some ice for the skater) Dima sung. Yup, pretty much that's all. I wrote before that he topped 2006. Well, kinda. He topped it the kitsch stakes, but I don't think the song is that good. Well, most of Eastern Europe disagreed with me (but then they voted for Putin, so who's the better judge of character?) and he'll be singing on saturday.
Greece: the last song(finally!) This chick, Kalomira was born in the States, so she sounds like a pachy-keen version of Britney Spears. The best thing about the song are the lyrics: 'i'm not easy but i'm true.' Often the non-english speakers really get the syntax/grammar/etc wrong and that's ok, well understandable, because they don't speak english everyday. But this chick grew up in the States, so at least she'd have to have SOME command of english: at least enough to make singing those lyrics inexcusable.
In the final though. gags.

Ok, there are the songs.
Tonight is the second semi-final! That is exciting, I think it will be better than the first one, and not just 'cos we're going. Kate has a costume now, Roma clothes. Apparently, the Roma take clothing and other things that people put out with the rubbish, and sell it. All of the ones yesterday spoke German (which was slightly disconcerting, given we have this perception that English is the dominant second language), and proudly showed off these German clothes. Actually quite good vintage stuff.
Photos will follow, I guarantee. How excited are you?

ciaoski darlski

Flying the Flag (the airline post)

Given I've been on the receiving end of some pretty bad (well not THAT bad, but it's not over yet so I don't want to jinx it) plane karma, I feel it's only necessary to write about it.

Before I write about interesting stuff, I need to externalise the bad plane-karma that has somehow come my way (why I'll never know: what did I do to deserve this?).

I'm now in Serbia, and have stopped off twice to get there. Only one leg has gone smoothly, and I'd like to put that down to Nordic efficiency. Perhaps.
Anyway, my Jetstar international experience was bollocks.Instead of flying Syd-Osaka, I had to fly via Cairns (never a choice destination for... anyone really) and then to Japan, which meant i missed my connection in Kyoto and was nearly stuck at Kansai International Airport overnight. Jetstar were bollocks. No help. So, as if you needed any further proof not to fly them, well, then, there it is. The staff on the plane were nice, but as with all budget airlines, there's a certain "almost-but-not-quite-as-good-as-the-full-price-version" about them. Ditto the food, colour-scheme, tickets and seats of the plane.

So, after a night in Osaka (thank you Comfort Inn) and the complsary visit to Daimaru, i was off to Kyoto.

The bad karma stayed dormant for my flight to Europe: the Finnair flght was great, ok service by an older Finnair crew who were the air hostess equivalent of hefty middle-aged soldiers. Lots of finnish design though: even the paper cups were Marimekko prints!

The flight to Helsinki was mainly full of Japanese package-deal tourists who were very quiet but couldn't read numbers in the latin script. Helsinki airport is a very modern airport, with lots of great shopping, though I wouldn't recommend that you fly Finnair with that in mind (it is however, a pretty good airline).
Rome is actually 3 hours away from Helsinki: no I didn't think it was that far away either.
Woah, this post has turned into a lot of nothing hasn't it?
Well, the next plane trip i took brought back the bad plane karma, so that's at least a bit more interesting.
JAT airways ("it's not called Yugoslav Airways anymore: our country doesn't exist either") flies out of Terminal C at Rome's Fiumicino airport. This terminal is a bit like if the UN had a political grouping called "Eastern Europe and Others": it's for intercontinental and pov-country (aka those not within the glorious boundaries of the Schengen) flights. So flights to the States, Israel, Japan, South-East Asia(long-haul) were lumped with those going to Tunisia, Egypt, Kiev, Chisinau, Turkey, Serbia and my personal favourite, UZbekistani Air. I'm so grateful that the breakup of the Soviet Union brought these colourful airlines to Western Europes shores.
The JAT plane was old. I think it was probably older than many of the cast of Home and Away, and it was definitely older than Eastern European democracy. The armrests were cracked, the seats an almost late-70's print, and the walls flocked with strange dollops of the national colours, red, white and blue.
What was most hilarious was the staff. They just didn't give a shit. The captain actually stopped talking half-way through the safety demonstration and the steward who told the row of passengers in the emergency exit row bascially said to them " You sit here, listen to me now. If we crash door will open, you will help and that is all." It obviously sounds much better in heavily accented english, but I think you get my drift.
Anyway, I obviously spoke too soon in my critique of the airline (linked inherently with national pride, langauge and the way of life) because on arrival almost half the plane's baggage had been left in Rome (clearly I wasn't the only one who found the plane amusing). I've been trying to call the airline, but I think that they are taking a traditionally long Eastern European lunch (why couldn't they invite us!?) and it doesn't connect.
No,of course I have checked that the number is the right one, etc etc!
But I'll be off to ring them again now.
ciaoski darlski